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| Classic Chumbucket |
| 01.13.06 (1:05 pm) [edit] |
[b]Bring on Armaeggedon[/b]
[image]5hadow_1274252033.jpg[/image]
I like wondering about the future of our species. I'm not gonna be around. I'm about 70, so when I see some world war igniting on television I'll go "Boy, you people are gonna be fucked." I'm outa here pretty soon so I don't care. A wall of flame could engulf me right now and I'd call it a day. I'd do jumping jacks and cartwheels while I'm on fire. I think people would wanna see that, but not if they're also on fire.
It's too bad you can't reasonably live through a wall of flame. I'd like to have it as the climax in my life story some day. What could top that? So I quarterbacked the football team in high school, then I had this wild orgy in college. After that I got married and shot up the corporate ladder for a few years and lemme tell ya I saved up quite a chunk for retirement. That's when I was engulfed by a screaming wind of fire. My hair exploded into flames. My kahki's evaporated, and oh ya there was this guy I knew that turned into skeletel ash right in front of me. Good thing, cause I owed him money. It was a fucking blast. I guarantee you the people you're telling that story to would be way more interested in the part about you on fire than the game winning touchdown you threw.
Hey, when I'm an old guy I don't give a shit. I'm just trying to make it to the bathroom on time. You won't see me at a world summit trying to evade armageddon. I know what your thinking. I have kids. I have grandchildren. I can't think like that. Well, that's your problem. You shouldn't have had any kids. It's a waste. They're all gonna melt like butter in a nuclear blast anyway. As a matter of fact, don't even pay for their college. "But I wanna be educated daddy." I don't think so sweety. A lot of good that's gonna do ya when your a blistering puddle of flesh. I'm gonna buy a clipper boat instead and sail the wily seas. Forget about being a doctor. Open up a hotdog stand and bide your time. The end is near. I apologize for bringing you to life. Gotta go now.
And when is this Jesus guy coming back anyway? I wanna check him out. I want him to emerge suddenly so I can go "Hey Jim, I told you he was black." Actually, I'm kinda glad I don't get to see him. If I saw him tommorrow I'd know something huge is about to happen. Jesus doesn't just show up. He'll definately have a world altering event up his sleeve. He'll wip a list out of thin air and start reading off names. He'll do that for about five years standing in the same position. No indication of whether it's good or bad to have your name read. He'll just read off the names. After that he'll go alright, that's it and walk away. Some guy will go "But what about me? He didn't read my name, or Joey's", but he'll just keep walking. He'll sit on a porch somewhere. He'll sit on a porch, look at the sky and start whistling. Then he'll look at his watch a couple times.
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posted by: (reply)
post date: 01.15.06 (9:28 pm)
Hey Mr. Chummie This is your old pal Handy Randy (AKA Robbie Lee) and I was gonna let you know I have a myspace site you should check out. Its kinda new but I'm working on it. Its www.myspace.com/thestinkycabin I'm not trying to get a plug here just dont know how else to get in touch with you
posted by: (reply)
post date: 01.16.06 (8:42 am)
wouldn't it be cool if Jesus ended up being a midget? or having a harelip or something? that would be neato.
posted by: Dawn (reply)
post date: 01.28.06 (9:53 am)
hey chum, what's your myspace blog URL again? I lost it...
posted by: Digitalcameras Store (reply)
post date: 04.04.06 (1:22 pm)
I want mp3 player. What will advise?
posted by: Cycling Online Store (reply)
post date: 04.12.06 (8:02 am)
Hi
To write the letter, it is necessary ...
posted by: Second World War (reply)
post date: 01.10.07 (5:40 am)
Enjoy wines from top-rated wine producers around the world from Australia to Germany to South Africa. A great way to sample a variety of wines from major wine regions. A GREAT GIFT for wine lovers.
posted by: History of UK (reply)
post date: 01.11.07 (5:08 am)
The (IHR) provides resources for historians. These resources include online articles, free event advertising, MA/PhD study, training courses, an open-access library and more.
posted by: Eveything Chinese Food (reply)
post date: 01.11.07 (11:06 am)
Chinese food, is a unique, tasty and very common cuisine which usually consists of two main ingredients. The first being a carbohydrate source such as rice or noodles. The second component that is used in chinese food can be vegetables, fish or meat.
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