When Someone You
Knew Becomes a Cop
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When Someone You
Knew Becomes a Cop |
| 11.15.05 (6:34 am) [edit] |
You ever have someone you knew turn into a cop? A "tripped him a couple times in middle school" type of someone? Then you get pulled over by him, and he acts like he never knew ya. It's like they took out his brains and replaced it with Model SUPERCOP 300125a.
"Do you know why I pulled you over sir?"
"Whaz up Kev it's Jimmy!"
"Sir, I clocked you at 70 in a 45 mph zone"
"Word. Oh now your gonna be like that? I gave you chocolate chip cookies man"
"Nevertheless, it doesn't justify a high rate of speed through a school zone, right after school gets out, while honking your horn screaming MAKE WAY".
So you go from childhood semi friend to "Jesus, I might have to kill this guy if he finds my weed." It's really a strange feeling. I think it should be against the law for someone you knew to become a cop. It's just not right. Someone should arrest that guy.
Most cops used to be that kid in school no one hung out with. His nose was always running, and he showed up at school with pillow hair. Like someone shot him in the head with a slumber gun. Everyone would scatter like godzilla. Now he's out to exact revenge on everyone through a violent array of parking tickets and faulty tail light harrassment. That son of a bitch.
So the guy you used to know comes up to your window after pulling you over and your instinct is to act oh so nice. You figure since you used to know him, that maybe, just maybe you get the chick treatment. Maybe he'll let you off easy. "Hello officer. I wish to please you with several verbal niceties." What you're really thinking is "Damn it, I really wish I hadn't pulled his underwear up his ass that time. That must have hurt."
I don't even know why you want to access the fact that you once knew him as some kind of weird advantage. It's like walking out on your girlfriend, and 15 years later you run into her at the grocery store and go "Hey, wanna fuck?" It's not like you've been sending this officer christmas cards for years just to "keep in touch". Knock the pseudo advantage bullshit off. What a hopelessly desperate ploy to access a distant connection for what? You hope he knocks $25 off a speeding ticket? Come off it. If he does it for you, you know you'll just speed off and mumble "What a jerkoff. I always hated that cocksucker".
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posted by: 5hadow (reply)
post date: 11.16.05 (5:25 am)
At least you were a cop for halloween. A very naughty cop.
posted by: LaLunaBella82 (reply)
post date: 12.14.05 (10:57 am)
*snickers*
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posted by: Eddie (reply)
post date: 10.21.06 (8:38 pm)
I always find something new and interesting every time I come around here - thanks.
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