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| Ancient War |
| 09.15.05 (10:43 am) [edit] |
[image]5hadow_1409101702.jpg[/image]
I'm sick of evil mosqitoes sucking my blood and leaving nothing in return of any value. Dracula the selfish mosquito. Fine, take my blood. It's only a little bit, but why leave the itching and disease? Hey, is this some kind of twisted swap? I never agreed to this. Take some blood, and leave an issue of playboy next time dick. leave a sausage egg and cheese. "Oh look honey, a mosquito cooked us breakfast. She must have siphoned off a couple ounces last night while we were sleeping."
All you mosquitoes wonder why I'm so pissed at you. I don't like sneaky little pricks who don't ask to extract my life energy, and then leave turmoil in your wake of terror. Why in the world is there an insect that needs something inside my body anyway? Why don't you just attach yourself to my skull and suck out my brain a little at a time? I mean what the fuck. This is bullshit. Little bastards.
Why am I even bringing this up? Because now you've gone too far. Now you're Killing us with shit you're carrying. I know I killed a lot of your relatives. That's no reason to transmit violent diseases. Take some blood, but don't leave a little gift for the generous blood donation that will ravage the citizen for a week before they die vomiting their internal organs on the rug. Hey, I'm sorry I gave your friends the clap. Actually, more like the clap and flick. That's what you get for not asking before taking.
Some 20 year old girl was bitten by a mosquito two towns over from me last week and died within days from eastern equine encephalitus. She went to the hospital with a fever, they misdiagnosed her, mistreated her, and sent her home to die. Just so you know FLINTSTONE VITAMINS DO NOT CURE ENCEPHALITUS. I never got a chance to meet this girl who died. I was busy with my life while she was convulsing mortally 10 miles away Saturday night. I've always been amazed that as one haneously tragic event is happening in one place, someone in another place is living life good. I mean you're just hanging out playing twister with fat people, and some ruthless leader 2,384 miles away is setting random people on fire for kicks. These people have no idea what you're going through.
Anyway, so this girl gets eastern equine encephalitus (Triple E) from a mosquito. That's nice hugh? They give a disease a trendy name to make it easier to digest. That's so you don't go "Oh my god Ted, do you have southwestern equalibrium esophagus!" Don't laugh. there are stupid people who say shit like that. I'm one of them. I thought about it, and it actually does need a nickname. When you have a week to live, you can't have people bugging you all the time going "What's that thing you have again? Easter Egg Elupitopus?", and waste your last precious days constantly reminding idiots how to pronounce a difficult disease name. It's much better to say "It's Triple E. Screw off."
Isn't that unreal though? You get bitten by a mosquito, and die within a week. Weird stuff. If one of your friends dies within a week and you don't know why, then be very suspicious, and very cautious. Stand around naked, scratching your head in wonder, near a swampy meadow, with ten dead birds by your feet around dusk. It's the best way to find out what happened.
There is one fun thing about mosquito transmitted disease. Some town official always comes up with the genius plan to spray the entire county with toxic bug spray. "What shall we do Mayor? Three deaths this week"..."Let's create a giant cloud of mosquito repellant over the region. That should solve our short term issues, while creating long term cancerous ones which I will claim no responsibility for." But it's the only way to get rid of them right? Wrong. We could also drop a nuclear warhead and not have to worry about a thing for like 10 years. They had no Triple E concerns in Hiroshima during the late 40's.
So how do you deal with it? You can't spray everything. It's not like you can pinpoint the exact mosquito with Triple E and be like "Hey you! Get over here. Stop flying away. You gotta stop biting people man. Do you know what you have? That's a bad cough you got there Mr. Skeeter. You might wanna consider skipping the blood sucking for a bit. Here, let me give you the clap."
It's just not going to happen. It's an impossible problem. So the thought that ends up crossing your mind if you're in a danger zone community is literally "We need to Kill every last fucking mosquito we can find." That's the only logical solution. Make no mistake. This is war. In war you have collateral damage. A lot of us would hurt ourselves to kill all the mosquitoes. Ever get one on your head and slam your face against a brick wall? No more mosquito.
If you think about it though, it's kind of convenient that a couple of these little bastards infected us with a deadly virus. We were looking for an excuse to kill every last mosquito on earth anyway. Just sitting around hoping a couple of em do something really stupid. Something to set us off into a mosquito slaughtering frenzy. Well this is it. You asked for it.
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